A common lie for eating disorders to tell us is that we are weak. The eating disorder tells us that the only time we are being strong is when we are using symptoms and numbing our pain. This lie can have devastating effects on the recovery process. It can get in the way of our motivation if we believe that the only time we are strong is when we are in the eating disorder. Even more importantly, it can stop us from even trying to recover, believing that we are too weak to do the necessary work.
The lies the eating disorder tells us could not be further from the truth! People with eating disorders have an immense amount of strength. However, we have been using our strength in unhealthy (and often ineffective) ways. If we can begin to recognize our strength and power, then we can harness it towards recovery.
The following article from Eating Disorders Review.com is a wonderful illustration of this concept...
In his writings, author M. Scott Peck talks about the difference between a weak-willed and a strong-willed person. A weak-willed person, he says, is like having a donkey in your backyard. It won’t do too much damage; it might eat a few tulips, but it won’t take you very far either. A strong-willed person, on the other hand, is like having a team of Clydesdales in your backyard. Given their tremendous size and strength, they have the potential to cause a great deal of damage. If they are allowed free reign, they are liable to knock down everything in sight, including you. But if they are properly harnessed and carefully guided, they are capable of taking you a long way as well.
The eating disordered person is an extreme example of self-will run riot. A team of Clydesdales out of control, although she usually doesn’t see herself that way. Because of the demands of her illness she sees herself as a donkey. To other people she believes she must be weak and needy. In reality, however, she has more than enough stamina and will to go far in recovery. The problem is that most of her energy and tenacity is misdirected. She rarely exercises her will except when protecting the eating disorder. Like a mother bear protecting her cubs, she will bare her teeth and fight back fiercely if she perceives that anyone or anything is trying to come between her and the eating disorder.
I sometimes tell my clients that they are some of the strongest and most faith-filled people on the planet. They have absolute faith in their disorder. They are willing to go to any length to obey its commands. They are willing to suffer tremendous physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual torture to follow daily dictates and rituals. It takes tremendous strength and resilience to withstand the terrific beating that the disorder dishes out. You cannot be weak-willed and have an eating disorder. Recovery is not so much a matter of "having faith" or "finding strength," as it is learning how to redirect energy and focus away from the eating disorder toward reliance on recovery principles.Redirecting Will, by Tom Shiltz (originally printed in Eating Disorders Recovery Today)
This is so interesting! When I first went to see an acupuncturist, the first thing he told me was that I was very strong but I was using this in the wrong way. I had been using my strength and energy to keep obeying the Ed and instead I needed to use it against Ed and his lies! Thank you for this post Amy! You're blog is beautiful<3
ReplyDeleteThis is so true. The ED loves to tell lies and tell us how weak we are as people when in fact people with eating disorders are some of the strongest people ever. The eating disorder likes to tell us that we are in control when in fact we are out of control and just the opposite that we are out of control when in fact we are in control. Recovery is a process and a hard thing but speaking from personal experience if one changes their thought process the ED voice becomes quieter and the truth is easier to see and believe.
ReplyDeleteCame across your blog tonight looking for other pro recovery blogs. Great post!
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