Motivation and Inspiration

Heart to Heart: A Journey to the Heart

by Rebecca Ruggles Radcliffe

We come into this world as tiny, trusting souls. But life is difficult and has a way of bruising us no matter how careful we are. We learn to protect ourselves—hide our feelings, avoid difficult situations, tiptoe through conflict, deny that we hurt, and find behaviors that can dull the pain. We reach for food. We skip eating. We get up in the middle of the night to fill the void with whatever’s in the refrigerator. We exercise until we can no longer think. We run, we starve, we binge, we cry. And we ask why—again and again and again.

Thankfully, our souls don’t quit. Our deepest inner selves want answers. They want things to be different. They want us to find a way to breathe again and move into the future. And the only way out is to stand up and take a step forward—to rebound and strengthen our wisdom, not just our protective layers.

When our skin is cut, blood rushes to the site carrying healing cells. A temporary “patch” is made to stop the bleeding and the area gets swollen and sore. This is the body’s way of protecting itself. Underneath, out of sight, the skin cells at the edge of the wound go to work rebuilding a new layer of skin. The hole is covered with fresh, healthy, and stronger skin. Can it be injured again? Certainly. If that happens, the body will repeat this protection and healing process.

Our spirits, too, have a healing process just like our bodies do, but instead of cell by cell, it is step by step. Insight by insight. Action by action. Day by day. We surround ourselves with protective people, places, and activities. We dare to open ourselves to the idea that healing is possible. We develop new strength by taking on some little thing each day. We smile at someone and they smile back. We move forward knowing that hurt may come again, but that it can’t keep us from becoming wiser beings.

This is no quick, simple, or easy process. It takes a courageous decision on our part that we don’t like where we are and we are willing to change. We have to sort through what is healing and what is damaging. What supports and what drains. What opens new possibilities and what closes them off. We may need to change lots of things--like where we work, who our friends are, when we see our family, who we keep close, how we get support, how we spend our free time, our spiritual beliefs and practices, our routine, how we eat, and how we comfort ourselves. If we are lucky, we have a good therapist, compassionate friends, and plenty of patience and determination. The reward is that each step of the journey is full of learning and fulfillment. It means accepting that we are a work in progress, and that the rest of our lives will be full of self-discovery.

The wisdom that grows in us helps us become people that can make a difference in the world. We can be kinder to others because we know how unkindness hurts. We can offer a hand in friendship through easy and hard times. We can be there to support one another in a time of loss. We can use our energy to do things that matter, not that just fill time. We can offer our talents to make things better in whatever ways we are pulled to help. And with each day our strength grows, filling the empty wound with knowledge that life gives us new skills and perspectives on our journeys. 

Source: Eating Disorders Review

My Recommended Self Improvement Books:

 Life without ED Jenni Schaefer

When Bad Things Happen to Good People Harold Kushner

A Conscious Life Fran and Louis Cox

Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships John Wellwood 

ANYTHING by Pema Chodron

Dark Side of the Light Chasers Debbie Ford

The Highly Sensitive Person  Elaine Aaron

The Dance of Anger Harriet Lerner

Man's Search for Meaning Victor E Frankl

Wherever you Go, There you Are Jon Kabbat-Zinn

Yoga from the Inside Out Christina Sell

Codependent No More Melody Beattie

Goodbye Ed, Hello Me Jenni Schaefer

Your Sacred Self Wayne Dyer

Thich Nhat Hanh

Anne Lamott

Marianne Williamson

  

 

"Gently remind yourself that life is okay the way it is, right now.  In the absence of judgment, everything would be fine.  As you begin to eliminate your need for perfection in all areas of your life, you'll begin to discover the perfection in life itself."

Richard Carlson

 

 It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new.  But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.  There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power. (Alan Cohen)

"Recovery is realizing that the fullness of life awaits you, and that the difficult struggle will turn into the divine path." (Alin Austin)

Take the first step in faith.

You don't have to see the whole staircase, 

just take the first step.

(Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.) 

"When you come to the edge of all the light you know, and you are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen:

There will be something solid to stand on,

or you will be taught how to fly."

~Barbara J. Winter~

YOU ARE A CHILD OF THE UNIVERSE NO LESS THAN THE TREES AND THE STARS; YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO BE HERE.  AND WHETHER OR NOT IT IS CLEAR TO YOU, NO DOUBT THE UNIVERSE IS UNFOLDING AS IT SHOULD.

Max Ehrmann

Since we cannot change reality, let us change the eyes which see reality.   (Kazantzakis)

"Life isn't supposed to be an all or nothing battle between misery and bliss.  

Life isn't supposed to be a battle at all.  

And when it comes to happiness, well, sometimes life is just okay, sometimes it's comfortable, sometimes wonderful, sometimes boring, sometimes unpleaseant.  When your days are not perfect, it's not a failure or a terrible loss.  It's just another day."

~Barbara Sher~ 

Reasons to Recover:

To be able to love and accept myself completely.
To reach positive goals.
To be a positive model and inspiration to others.
To be able to experience and express all emotions.
To be able to live in the moment.
To use my mental energy for good instead of thoughts about food and weight.
To be in meaningful relationships.
To be able to help others.
To treat my body with respect.
To eat what I want without feeling guilty or the need to compensate.
To feel healthy, strong, and energized.
To be able to communicate clearly with others instead of using my body.
To work on important, core issues in therapy.
To discover and create who I really am and who I want to be.

"We do not succeed in changing things according to our desire, but gradually our desire changes.  The situation that we hoped to change because it was intolerable becomes unimportant.  We have not managed to surmount the obstacle, as we were absolutely determined to do, but life has taken us round it, led us past it, and then if we turn round to gaze at the remote past, we can barely catch sight of it, so imperceptible has it become."

~Marcel Proust~ 
 

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO FEEL BRAVE TO BE BRAVE" 

(Thom Rutledge)

"Many things are possible if we accept the fastest way is one step at a time."

 

"Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it.  The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use."

(Earl Nightingale)

My Favorite Inspirational Songs:

I Choose - India Arie

Defying Gravity - Wicked

Watch Me Walk - Keri Noble

There's Hope - India Arie

Strength, Courage and Wisdom - India Arie

Go Proud - Keri Noble

Video - India Arie

I'll Rise - Ben Harper

Stronger - Kelly Clarkson

Stand in the Rain - Superchick

Live Like a Warrior - Matisyahu

Brand New Day - Joshua Radin

You Are Loved - Josh Groban

We try to fix what's "wrong" with us and the attempt to fix something that isn't broken keeps us stuck believing there is something wrong with us.

Cheri Huber

"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding." ~Kahil Gibran

 

 

"People often say that this or that person has not yet found themselves.  But the self is not something that one finds.  It is something that one creates." (Thomas Szasz)

Happiness is like a butterfly:

The more you chase it, the more it will elude you.

But if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder...

~Thoreau~

"Let go of the place that holds, let go of the place that flinches, let of of the place that controls, let go of the place that fears.  Just let the ground support me." 

(Stephanie Kaza)

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.
Dr. Seuss