Window of Tolerance

I have been wanting to write about the window of tolerance for a long time.  It has only been directly addressed in one treatment center that I attended, and I think it is incredibly helpful...

The window of tolerance refers to a zone of "emotional arousal that is optimal for well-being and effective functioning," (Siegel, 1999). 

When we are within our window of tolerance, we are able to effectively cope with, process, and integrate emotional arousal.  However, when we are outside our window of tolerance, we are unable to complete these essential functions. 

We Admitted We Were Powerless

Although there are many differences between eating disorders and other addictions, it can sometime be useful to look at eating disorders as a type of addiction.  Many people with addictions believe that they are "in control" of their addiction.  Specifically, people with eating disorders often feel that they have complete power and control over their body and over food.  However, this is just an illusion.

"I admitted I was powerless over my eating disorder and that my life had become unmanageable."

Staying on Track Day to Day

 The process of recovery can be very overwhelming.  Sometimes we get lost in the big picture and forget about the little things we can do each day to stay on track.  

It can be helpful to create daily rituals to reaffirm your dedication to recovery and to remember why you are working so hard.  

The following are some daily activities you can do to help you stay on track.  Pick 2-3 activities and commit to them for at least a week.  At the end of the week, reflect and adjust your activities so they best fit your needs.

• List 3-5 things you are grateful for - remember the little things
• Read something inspirational
• Connect to your spirituality
• Call/talk to one supportive person
• Write down specifics about how you are going to follow your meal plan for the day
• List the reasons why you are following your meal plan and exercise plan TODAY

To Feel or Not to Feel

An important part of the recovery process is learning to identify and experience emotions.  It is common for people in the early stages of recovery to go through what I call the "thawing out phase."  Often, one of the purposes of the eating disorder is to numb emotions.  As people begin to replace the eating disorder with healthier coping mechanisms, it is common for emotions to emerge.  It can feel uncomfortable and even scary when emotions start to surface.   

Many people wonder, "now that my emotions are here, what am I supposed to do with them???"  Although it is important to experience your emotions, it is also valuable to know when to contain them.   

Below is a brief assessment to help you decide whether to experience or contain your emotions, followed by  suggestions on how to experience your emotions in a healthy way.

Understanding and Interrupting Relapse

The recovery process from an eating disorder can be long and arduous.  It often feels like two steps forward, one step backwards.  Slips and relapses occur.  It is important to understand the process of relapse so you can intervene sooner rather than later. 

The following is an excerpt from an article on addiction relapse.  I think it is very applicable to eating disorder relapse, and provides a nice illustration of the process...

[Relapse] is the progressive process of becoming so dysfunction in recovery that self-medication... seems like a reasonable choice.  The relapse process is a lot like knocking over a line of dominoes.  The first domino hits the second, which hits the third, and soon a progressive chain reaction has started... Each domino in the line (i.e. each problem that brings us closer to [symptom] use) gets a little bigger and heavier until the last domino in the sequence is ten feet tall, four feet wide, and a foot thick.  As this 10,000 pound domino begins to fall on us, it is too heavy for us to handle alone... When the last domino falls, it hits us from behind when we're not looking.


So here we are, moving along in recovery.  We tip over one small domino.  No big deal!  That domino hits the next, and then the next.  A chain reactions gets started.  The first dominoes are so small that we can easily convince ourselves that it's no big deal.  We look the other way and start doing other things.  All of a sudden a huge domino falls on us from behind, crushing us to floor, causing serious pain and injury in the process.  We need to make the pain go away and we reach for old reliable - the magical [symptoms] that always helped us with our pain in the past.  [We are now fully engulfed by the eating disorder.]

(Understanding Relapse by Terence Gorski)

Read more for examples of the relapse process and helpful tips on interrupting relapse...
 

Journaling Prompts

Journaling can be a very helpful tool for many people.  It can help you get in touch with your emotions, thoughts and beliefs, tap into your motivation, clarify the past, or dream about your future.  Journaling is also a great way to explore your identity.  Sometimes it can be difficult to start, so the following are prompts to get you started.

Identifying and Experiencing Emotions

For many, an eating disorder serves as a way to numb emotions.  Many people with eating disorders have a difficult time identifying their emotions, and may only experience "negative" or painful emotions.  When faced with the task of identifying their emotions, they may feel confused or even angry..."why do I need to feel my feelings if all I feel is pain?"  People with eating disorders are also often out of practice at experiencing, expressing, and moving through their emotions.  In many ways, the eating disorder has been their coping tool for dealing with difficult emotions, or even their way of communicating with others.  Therefore, it is important to learn how to experience and express emotions in a healthy and effective way.

Values

It is common for people with eating disorders to struggle with issues of identity.  They often feel as if their eating disorder is an integral part of who they are.  It can be terrifying for a person to let go of an eating disorder because it means letting go of the person they know.  Individuals with eating disorders often wonder, 

"Who am I without the eating disorder?" 

One thing to consider when you are exploring who are is your values.   

At your core, what values do you hold?  Below is an activity to help you identify your values...