Embracing our Strength

Eating disorders are full of lies.  They tell us that we are unworthy, unlovable, undesirable, fat, ugly, stupid, and so on.  It is painful to meet so many amazing, intelligent, creative, compassionate people who believe the lies their eating disorders tell them.  If only they (we) could see what others see in us. 

A common lie for eating disorders to tell us is that we are weak.  The eating disorder tells us that the only time we are being strong is when we are using symptoms and numbing our pain.  This lie can have devastating effects on the recovery process.  It can get in the way of our motivation if we believe that the only time we are strong is when we are in the eating disorder.  Even more importantly, it can stop us from even trying to recover, believing that we are too weak to do the necessary work.

The lies the eating disorder tells us could not be further from the truth!  People with eating disorders have an immense amount of strength.  However, we have been using our strength in unhealthy (and often ineffective) ways.  If we can begin to recognize our strength and power, then we can harness it towards recovery.

The following article from Eating Disorders Review.com is a wonderful illustration of this concept...

Understanding and Interrupting Relapse

The recovery process from an eating disorder can be long and arduous.  It often feels like two steps forward, one step backwards.  Slips and relapses occur.  It is important to understand the process of relapse so you can intervene sooner rather than later. 

The following is an excerpt from an article on addiction relapse.  I think it is very applicable to eating disorder relapse, and provides a nice illustration of the process...

[Relapse] is the progressive process of becoming so dysfunction in recovery that self-medication... seems like a reasonable choice.  The relapse process is a lot like knocking over a line of dominoes.  The first domino hits the second, which hits the third, and soon a progressive chain reaction has started... Each domino in the line (i.e. each problem that brings us closer to [symptom] use) gets a little bigger and heavier until the last domino in the sequence is ten feet tall, four feet wide, and a foot thick.  As this 10,000 pound domino begins to fall on us, it is too heavy for us to handle alone... When the last domino falls, it hits us from behind when we're not looking.


So here we are, moving along in recovery.  We tip over one small domino.  No big deal!  That domino hits the next, and then the next.  A chain reactions gets started.  The first dominoes are so small that we can easily convince ourselves that it's no big deal.  We look the other way and start doing other things.  All of a sudden a huge domino falls on us from behind, crushing us to floor, causing serious pain and injury in the process.  We need to make the pain go away and we reach for old reliable - the magical [symptoms] that always helped us with our pain in the past.  [We are now fully engulfed by the eating disorder.]

(Understanding Relapse by Terence Gorski)

Read more for examples of the relapse process and helpful tips on interrupting relapse...
 

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

Autobiography In Five Short Chapters
~Portia Nelson~

Chapter I

I walk down the street.  There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.  I fall in.
I am lost... I am helpless.  It isn't my fault.  It takes forever to find a way out. 

Chapter II

I walk down the same street.  There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.  I fall in again.  I can't believe I am in this same place.
But it isn't my fault.  It still takes a long time to get out. 

 

Chapter III

I walk down the same street.  There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.  I see it there.
I still fall in... it's a habit... but, my eyes are open.  I know where I am.
It is my fault.  I get out immediately. 

 

Chapter IV

I walk down the same street.  There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.  I walk around it. 

 

Chapter V

I walk down another street. 

Read on for some questions to consider and journal about...

Journaling Prompts

Journaling can be a very helpful tool for many people.  It can help you get in touch with your emotions, thoughts and beliefs, tap into your motivation, clarify the past, or dream about your future.  Journaling is also a great way to explore your identity.  Sometimes it can be difficult to start, so the following are prompts to get you started.

Identifying and Experiencing Emotions

For many, an eating disorder serves as a way to numb emotions.  Many people with eating disorders have a difficult time identifying their emotions, and may only experience "negative" or painful emotions.  When faced with the task of identifying their emotions, they may feel confused or even angry..."why do I need to feel my feelings if all I feel is pain?"  People with eating disorders are also often out of practice at experiencing, expressing, and moving through their emotions.  In many ways, the eating disorder has been their coping tool for dealing with difficult emotions, or even their way of communicating with others.  Therefore, it is important to learn how to experience and express emotions in a healthy and effective way.

Values

It is common for people with eating disorders to struggle with issues of identity.  They often feel as if their eating disorder is an integral part of who they are.  It can be terrifying for a person to let go of an eating disorder because it means letting go of the person they know.  Individuals with eating disorders often wonder, 

"Who am I without the eating disorder?" 

One thing to consider when you are exploring who are is your values.   

At your core, what values do you hold?  Below is an activity to help you identify your values...