We Admitted We Were Powerless

Although there are many differences between eating disorders and other addictions, it can sometime be useful to look at eating disorders as a type of addiction.  Many people with addictions believe that they are "in control" of their addiction.  Specifically, people with eating disorders often feel that they have complete power and control over their body and over food.  However, this is just an illusion.

"I admitted I was powerless over my eating disorder and that my life had become unmanageable."

The first step of the 12-step addiction model is, "We admitted we were powerless over our addiction and that our lives had become unmanageable."  It can be very helpful to recognize how much power your eating disorder actually has over you, and how unmanageable your life has become.  Once you begin to recognize this, you can reclaim your power by taking responsibility for your recovery.

The following exercise will help you work through the first step towards recognizing your powerlessness over the eating disorder.  It is very extensive, so take your time.  Remember to be gentle with yourself and to seek support with any emotions or thoughts that arise as you work on this step.  It is highly recommended that you share your answers with your therapist or trusted mentor.

Instructions: Provide at least 3 personal examples for each of the following...

1. Obsessing or fantasizing about my addictive behavior
2. Trying to control my behavior
3. Lying, covering up, or minimizing my behavior
4. Trying to rationalize my behavior
5. Effects on my physical health
6. Feeling guilty or shameful about my behaviors (or the other extreme - feeling defiant or prideful about my behaviors)
7. Effects on my emotional health
8. Effects on my social life
9. Effects on my school and/or work life
10. Effects on my character, morals, or values
11. Effects on my spirituality
12. Effects on my financial situation
13. Contact with the police or courts
14. Has my preoccupation led to strange behaviors?
15. Has my preoccupation led to loss of concentration or memory?
16. Has my preoccupation led to destructive behaviors against myself or others?
17. Has my preoccupation led to accidents or other dangerous situations
18. Do I keep overly or unnecessarily busy?  Why?
19. Do I feel depressed a lot of the time?  What does that look like?
20. Am I able to share my feelings?  If not, why?
21. How have I changed my physical image to support my addiction?
22. What promises have I made to myself that I have broken?
23. Have I denied that I have a problem?  How?
24. How has my addiction affected my self-esteem?
25. Have I tried to relieve my pain about my behavior?  How?
26. Have I tried to manipulate others into supporting my addiction?  How?
27. Have I given up my hobbies and interests?  What were they?

Powerlessness Inventory:  List other examples that show how powerless you have been to stop your behavior.  Think of  "powerless" as the inability to stop the behavior despite obvious consequences.

Unmanageability Inventory: List other examples of how your life has become unmanageable.  Think of "unmanageability" as creating chaos and damage in your life.

Now that you have completed the questions...

• What are your thoughts about being powerless over the eating disorder?
• When is your ED powerful over you?
• What helps you feel powerful over your ED?
• Do you believe your life has become unmanageable due to the eating disorder (now or in the past?)  Why or why not?
• If you decide to accept that you are powerless over the eating disorder, how can this help you in your recovery process?
• What are some of your dreams you have for your life without the eating disorder?