As we celebrate mother's day today, we often find ourselves reflecting on the significance of loved ones and support people in our lives. This can bring up many emotions in us - gratitude, anger, joy, resentment, envy, loving, lonely, shameful, hopeful, scared, abandoned, and so on. We may think about who we consider to be part of our family, ways in which our family has been both absent and present throughout our lives, what role our family plays in our illness and our recovery, and our role in building our own families. We think about what our support people mean to us, and what qualities we appreciate most from them during our times of greatest need.
The quote above deeply resonates with me. In times of struggle, I have most appreciated those who can sit with me in my pain. It takes courage and strength to tolerate the feeling of not knowing, of not being able to heal, of not knowing how to help a person who is suffering. This can be a powerful message for support people to hear...
You do not need to provide us with answers.
You do not need to find solutions to our problems.
You do not even need to understand what we are going through.
We simply ask that you sit beside us, that you join us in our vulnerability, that you remind us that we are not alone in our pain.
And a message to those who are struggling with EDs...
Remember that our support people are always doing the best they can, too. It can be easy to feel frustrated when we believe we are not being heard or understood. However, when we recognize that our support people often feel very powerless and confused, we can appreciate them for what they are able to provide us. We can sit with them in their powerlessness as they sit with us in our pain, and we can share our vulnerability together.
Today and always, I am grateful for those in my life who have found a way to sit with me in my pain, and who have reminded me that I am not alone on this journey.
No comments:
Post a Comment