Beyond the Exterior

What do someone struggling with anorexia and someone struggling with binge eating disorder have in common?  To put it in society's terms, what does someone who is starving him/herself and afraid of getting fat have in common with someone who is overeating and is fat or obese? 

Is it possible that all eating disorders, regardless of how they manifest, share underlying similarities?

 I have had the privilege of getting to know (and love) men and women with many different kinds of eating disorders.  Although there are only a few official diagnoses, every eating disorder is unique.  The symptoms and underlying thoughts and fears all manifest differently.  However, after getting to know people, I have realized that we are much more similar than we are different.  We are each struggling to deal with the difficulties we face in life in our own way.

Our society tends to emphasize anorexia and bulimia as "the eating disorders," and sweep binge-eating disorders under the rug.  Many people feel empathy for those who are suffering because they are severely malnourished.  But how about those who society deem as fat or obese?  Do we think about how they are suffering? 

Can we learn to look beyond the exterior 
and see the person inside instead? 

(the one who is wounded, who is struggling, who is suffering)

I recently read an interesting article called The Origins of Obesity that sheds light on this topic.  Below is an excerpt:

A Facebook friend recently quoted Dr. Christiane Northrup, and her thought-provoking words have stimulated a lot of discussion. She said, “Obesity is a solution to chronic stress,” and many folks have argued that obesity is an indication of stress, not a solution. I decided to investigate the statement!

With my background as a counselor, I am well aware that the extra layers of fat are often used as insulation, sexual protection, physical protection and even social protection so others might expect less from you.

I also believe that the basic problem is not the overeating. What is causing it? It’s that saying, “It’s not what you’re eating, it’s what’s eating you.” Many folks overeat/binge in an attempt to manage their pain and stress. In fact, I’ve often said that, “Food was the glue that kept me together.”

The resulting obesity, therefore, is also not the problem, but rather an indication that something challenging has happened or is happening to the individual.

...For those of us of normal weight: Now that we understand that obesity is often a solution to chronic stress, isn’t it time to be more compassionate with obese folks?

For those of us carrying excess weight: Isn’t it time to be more compassionate to ourselves?  And isn't it time to heal the traumas from the past?

Meryl Beck

Originally posted on March 25, 2013 on EDRECOVERY.com